Always
by Livin on the EDGE
Summary: /Complete\ One Shot Everything happens for a reason. Always!


**A.N: This is based on the song Always by Saliva. This came to me in a dream. I just wanted to write it down before I forgot it. I am still going to be working on those other two stories that I have. I hope you all like this. Read and Review!**

* * *

I sat in the hotel room with my head in my hands crying silently to myself. Everything had gone to shit in my relationship. I don't know what went wrong. We were once so in love that it made others sick. There were some that had their doubts though. I guess I should have listened to them when they told me to open my eyes up and not be blinded by his charm. I didn't want to believe anyone that said that he was at bars, when he wasn't with me, picking up girls. It hurt to much to ask him if it was true.

**_I hear... a voice say "Don't be so blind"... _**

**_ it's telling me all these things... _**

**_ that you would probably hide... _**

**_ am I... your one and only desire... _**

**_ am I the reason you breathe... _**

**_ or am I the reason you cry... _**

**_Always... always... always... always... always... always... always... _**

**_ I just can't live without you... _**

I waited for him to come into the room. Tonight I would ask him if I was the only one. I didn't have to wait that much longer, he walked in just as I made up my mind that I was going to talk to him. I looked up at him. He smelled like beer, but that was one thing I loved about him. He staggered closer to me. I knew he wasn't that drunk, he just had some beers in him. I pulled my knees up to my head and wrapped my arms around them. He sat down on the end of the bed and began untying his shoes.

"Can we talk?"

He looked over at me, with a frown on his face.

"What is it?"

" Have you been with anyone else, since we have been together?"

"Are you serious right now?" He asked standing up. I knew then that I had hit a nerve. "Why must you bring shit like this up?"

"I'm just curious." I said removing my arms from around my knees. I stood up and walked around the bed. "You never want me to spend time with you. You don't want me to leave hotels room. Hell, you don't want to be seen with me."

"That's because you are mine and you should listen to me." He said stepping closer to me.

"I'm not a piece of property, Jon." I said shaking my hand.

"But you are mine and I will tell you what to do and you will listen to what I have to say, Carla."

"I'm not property, Jonathon." I stepped forward towards him.

"You belong to me." He said putting his hand around my neck and tossing me to the bed. "You will do as I say."

"Stop, Jon." I said sliding away from him. "You need to go to sleep." I got up off the bed looking at him.

"What are you doing?"

"I can't stand to be around you, I hate you." I whispered, turning my head away from him.

"No you don't honey, you love me." He said smiling at me.

I just shook my head and walked around the bed and went to the couch that was in the room and fell on it. I laid down and put my head on the arm of the couch. I just laid there and stared at the wall. What had I gotten myself into. I want to walk out and never look back, but I love him so much that I was actually scared of him.

**_I love you... _**

**_ I hate you... _**

**_ I can't get around you... _**

**_ I breathe you... _**

**_ I taste you... _**

**_ I can't live without you... _**

**_ I just can't take any more... _**

**_ this life of solitude... _**

**_ I guess that i'm out the door... _**

**_ and now i'm done with you... _**

I stood up after lying on the couch for an hour. I thought he was asleep, but when I got to my suitcase and began putting my things inside, he spoke.

"What are you doing, Carla?"

I froze. His voice was cold. I was scared for my life. I didn't turn around or say anything to him. I tried to finish packing and ignoring him, but that didn't work. He got up and grabbed my arm making me stand up and look at him.

"I asked you a question." I said through clenched teeth.

"I'm done, Jon." I whispered looking down at the ground.

"What do you mean, you're done?" He asked grabbing my chin, turning my head upwards.

"I can't take this life anymore." I shook my head a little.

"This is a good life." He said putting pressure on my arm that he was still holding.

"For you, I just stay here, away from everybody. I can't take it anymore. I want to go home."

"Where ever I am, is home, baby." His grip just kept getting tighter on me.

"You're hurting me." I whispered.

"You aren't leaving."

"Yes, I am." I said looking into his eyes this time.

"You are mine, and nobody's going to get you."

"Let me go."

**_I feel... like you don't want me around... _**

**_ I guess i'll pack all my things... _**

**_ I guess i'll see you around... _**

**_ Its all... been bottled up until now... _**

**_ as I walk out your door... _**

**_ all I hear is the sound... _**

**_ Always... always... always... always... always... always... always... _**

**_ I just can't live without you... _**

I stood there looking Jon in the eyes. His grip was tight on me still. Every few minutes the grip just got tighter and tighter. I wanted to be let go. I wanted a new life. If he let me go he could move on too. As the grip got tighter I felt the tears start to well up in my eyes.

"Please let me go." I whispered afraid that the tears would soon fall.

"Why do you want to leave so bad. Don't you understand that I love you?"

"I understand perfectly, Jon."

"Don't you love me?" He asked getting angry.

"Yes,"

"If you did you wouldn't leave me."

"I have to for my sanity."

"So I'm driving you crazy?" He practically yelled.

"I didn't say that." I said calmly.

"IT'S WHAT YOU FUCKING MEANT." This time he did yell.

He balled up his fist. I wish I would have seen it coming, but I didn't. He threw his fist at me and connected with my nose. I heard the bone crack. I fell to the floor holding my nose in my hands. He tossed his hand again but this time it went into the wall. I reached into my bag and pulled out the pistol that I had gotten a few months back. I held it up to him as his eyes got big.

"What are you going to do with that?" He asked shakily.

"You just broke my nose, Jon."

One of my hands was nursing my nose while in the other one, I had the pistol pointing at him.

"You shouldn't piss me off."

"So hitting a girl, makes you feel big and bad?" I asked standing up.

**_ I left my head around your heart... _**

**_ Why would you tear my world apart... _**

**_ Always... always... always... always... _**

**_ I see... the blood all over your hands... _**

**_ does it make you feel... more like a man... _**

**_ was it all... just a part of your plan... _**

**_ the pistol's shakin' in my hands... _**

**_ and all I hear is the sound... _**

"Don't follow me." I said once I had the bag zipped up.

"Carla, I'm sorry. Let me take you to the hospital."

"No,"

I pulled the handle of my suitcase up and started towards the door. I stopped momentarily to look back at the man that I both love and hate. I shook my head before I walked out the door and down the hall.

**_ I love you... _**

**_ I hate you... _**

**_ I can't live without you... _**

**_ I breathe you... _**

**_ I taste you... _**

**_ I can't live without you... _**

**_ I just can't take any more... _**

**_ this life of solitude... _**

**_ I guess that i'm out the door... _**

**_ and now i'm done with you... _**

I sat in the waiting room with a tissue to my nose. The doctors were certain that I broke my nose. They just needed to get an x-ray done. I refused to tell them who hit me. I didn't want Jon to lose everything. It was bad enough that I had walked out on him. I don't think I could live without him. I'm just going to have to try my hardest.

**_ I love you... _**

**_ I hate you... _**

**_ I can't live without you... _**

My nose was indeed broken. I sent a text to Vince explaining the situation. Not the whole truth though. I just told him that I was helping a girl get out of a bad situation and ended up getting hurt. He sent a text back saying that I could have a month off. I let out a sigh of relief. This was the perfect thing that would help me get over Jon. I walked out of the hospital and got in my car. The only thing that was left to do was pick myself up and move forward. Everything had a way to figure itself out.

**_ I love you... _**

**_ I hate you... _**

**_ I can't live without you... _**

**_ I just can't take any more..._**

**_ this life of solitude... _**

**_ I pick myself off the floor... _**

**_ and now i'm done with you... _**

**_ Always..._**

**_ Always... _**

**_ Always..._**


End file.
